Diagnosis

Romans 8:39 “Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

“I have breast cancer.” The realization was slowly sinking in. My husband had gone down to the lobby to get me a drink since I thought I was going to pass out. I sat in the empty waiting room, staring at the floor, thoughts whirling inside my head. The surgeon’s wife, also his receptionist, came out to sit with me and squeezed my hand. The tears began to come and I confessed to her that I was afraid. “It’s natural to be afraid,” she told me as she hugged me close to her. “I want you to know something, though. Dr. Billy and I believe in prayer and we have been praying for you all week, knowing the possible diagnosis you would face.” When she said those words, a wonderful peace washed over me. Instantly, I realized that my situation was no surprise to the Lord. He had gone on ahead; even sent me to a surgeon who would lift me up in prayer! That was evidence to me that my heavenly Father was there, and He was working on my behalf. Psalm 139:3 says, “You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am.”

Just finally knowing what this little invading lump in my body was, brought me relief after the initial shock. This assurance of God's reality and help in my ordeal gave me strength. Going to work the next day was difficult, because all my friends were waiting to hear the results and my emotions were stretched to their limit from the waiting and then finally getting the results I feared. When I got out of my car Tuesday morning to go into the school where I work, I couldn't stop crying. I got back into the car and prayed, "Lord, I can't do this. You're going to have to help me face my friends and go on." I opened the door, sniffed and took a deep breath and walked into the building. My friends were so supportive and loving and the day went fine. The scripture that says, "I can do anything through CHRIST who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13) is true and was true for me that day.