Monday, November 28, 2005

To Target, or not to Target?



It's my fault. I prayed that God would keep me humble. Don't EVER pray for that! Don't pray for patience, either, take my word for it.


(just kidding)

I was hot under the collar at Target because they banned the bell ringers from the Salvation Army from their stores. I wrote an e-mail to the CEO, I sent e-mails to everyone I knew, I was on a crusade! Then I found out today that although it's true they banned the bell ringers, the Target corporation gives millions to the Salvation Army and partners with them for hurricane relief and giving gifts to needy families. Boy, do I feel stupid! I should have checked with Target when I heard the rumors, instead of going by second-hand sources. I learned this lesson before, but it's been a while and I've slept since then. No excuse, I know. Hopefully this time it will stick and I'll remember next time I'm faced with some news that disturbs me so. Go straight to the source to verify information - straight to the SOURCE.

Interestingly, the best wisdom was given to me by two friends who are quite a bit younger than I, which added to the humility lesson. Thank goodness they were willing to tell me their thoughts and insights. I'm always open to hear - I don't want to be crusading for the wrong cause or for no cause. If I do, someone please stop me.

So, my girls and I rejoiced that we don't have to boycott Target. ~sheepish smile~ There were sighs of relief and cheers when I announced that to them tonight.

I do pray God will show me when and where I can speak up for Him. I want to put action to my beliefs and my words of commitment to Jesus Christ. Show me, Lord, and I'll do what you want me to do.

Sick Day

Well, I took a sick day today. I was still weak and achy when I woke up so I went back to bed. It's been a good day. John had taken a vacation day so we got to spend lots of time together.

The aches are starting to fade and I feel good having caught up on some tasks on my to-do list that were hanging over my head. Boy, does that feel good! Do you know the feeling? The bothersome gnawing in your stomach when your to-do list is bulging with items for you? You keep procrastinating because it is simply overwhelming and you don't even know where to start.

I've received wonderful advice about this. A wise friend once told me to think of it as a syllabus for a class in college. You look at the syllabus and become overwhelmed thinking, "I'm going to accomplish all of this by the end of the semester?!" But you don't tackle it all at once, it isn't all due at once. You take one task at a time and by the end of the semester, lo and behold, you made it! Of course this same friend was very frugal and would follow me around with a calculator as I bought cans of Diet Coke, telling me how much I would save if I stopped buying soda. I didn't listen to that little smidgen of advice!

Back to the To-Do list dilemma: My mom told me years ago, "Just start one thing, it doesn't matter which one, and once you get going you'll feel better." She was right! Like when the dishes are piled up so high you think it will take a few weeks of elbow grease just to see countertop again. It's so much easier to walk away and think "I'll do it later." Nevermind that the neighborhood cockroaches are moving in and setting up a fiesta in your honor among the dried-on taco salad plates. Getting started is the hard part. That's true for many obstacles we face isn't it? Just getting started, taking that first step or jumping in with both feet.

We saw a skit about this on "The Amanda Show" once. Amanda was playing a superhero named, "The PROCRASTINATOR". She looked the part, complete with cape and Spandex. People would rush to her screaming for help and she would respond by striking a noble pose, hands on hips and declaring with echoing sound effect, "I will..........EVENTUALLY!" Of course she never responded in time. Don't wait too long, or eventually may become "too late." ~grin~

The roaches will have to find another spot to party. Sorry guys.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Got a plan

I am sitting here paying bills and planning for the months ahead. As usual, I have a nervous stomach ache looking at our obligations and the limited income to fulfill them. I put off this task until absolutely necessary and a big reason for that is because it's like an accusation staring me in the face. We would be ahead and able to handle things if I wasn't such a spendthrift. The guilt piles up when I think of that and how if I was not this way our life would probably have been easier all along -- even since we got married. I guess there's no use crying over spilt milk, or even spent dollars, but I truly feel sorry about it. This bi-weekly/monthly task always has me wishing I could time travel back and undo some stupid decisions in the past. Sure, my hubby went along with some of these not-so-smart ideas, but I am responsible for the lion's share.

While contemplating the next month's bills a little voice spoke to me and helped me think of a "quasi-plan" to help me get over my impulsive-spending-mental illness. (Yes, God, I'm listening...) I am going to leave my debit card in my dresser drawer at home and use cash for groceries, gas, etc. If I don't have the cash, I don't buy. It will help a lot, I think, because the debit card is SO EASY to use and those little purchases add up in unbelievable ways.

I wonder how I got this way. We all have our hangups, right? This is mine, in a big way. I am in the process of boycotting Target because of their policies anti-Salvation Army bellringers, and anti-"Christmas" but I'm thinking there will be a bonus in that I won't be in that store. Target has always held the prize for being the most tempting, tantalizing bazaar in which you find all kinds of trinkets, sweaters, CD's, and home decor you didn't realize you NEEDED until you saw them there.

Hopefully it's not too late for my daughters to see a "new me" as far as money is concerned. This is one legacy I don't want to pass along to them. Please, Lord, protect them from a future of being a slave to money, spending, and debt. You know that memory swipe in "Men in Black"? Maybe you could perform that on my sweet girls and implant good, sensible thoughts in there instead!

If you read this, say a prayer for me. I know Jesus will help me conquer this, if I do my part. It would be wonderful to be released from the bondage of the debt and always being behind syndrome. I've got to keep that in sight - freedom, peace of mind, and knowing I'm doing what honors God with my money.

Well, back to the "necessary evil" of balancing the checking account.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Almost Escaped It...

The cold that has been going around my household for the last two weeks finally nabbed me today. I thought I might just get past this episode and elude the pesky bacteria this time. Well, it's a good excuse to sit down and stare into oblivion, play Nintendo for a few hours, nod off open-mouthed on the sofa, and be pampered a bit by the spouse. There are plus sides to this, I suppose. ~grin~

My two older ones are off to the State Youth Convention for a few days, the youngest is at a sleep-over, and my sweetie is up at the church for a wedding rehearsal. I ate some leftover Thanksgiving food and watched TV in quiet solitude for a few hours. That is a rare and precious commodity at this stage of my life, the quiet solitude that is. I know it will be too much like that in several years when the girls are grown so I'll happily take it in small doses right now.

I was going to wait up for my hubby, but it's getting late. Off to bed, I tell myself. ~sniffle~

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Turkey Day


Well, another Thanksgiving is winding down. It's been a great day! Our family was just chillin' together. It was brilliantly sunny outside, but the wind was very cold. We even built a fire in the fireplace today - that was wonderful. We need to get some firewood though, as we kept it going with little sticks and twigs and that didn't last long, as I'm sure you can imagine. :) The turkey turned out well, as did all the other "fare" and we have very happy tummies now as we're lounging on the sofa and watching "Sister Act" on TV. (great line: "if this becomes a nun's bar, I'm outta here") Everyone needs a day like this once in a while. Lately I think I need a day like this everyday. Hmmmmmm....nah, that would get old pretty quickly.

Here's a little thankful list: (only scratches the surface)
My family, immediate and extended
Friends you can laugh with (ask the girls about this one) ha!
The love and forgiveness of God, through Jesus' sacrifice
Food
Clothes
Our home
Sunny, the sweet desert doggy
Sunny days
MUSIC!
The beauty of nature
Chocolate
Hugs
........just to mention a few

Like lil' Junior Asparagus sings on the Veggie Tales video, "A thankful heart is a happy heart." Too true, Junior, too true.

Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!

I am so wimpy! My "flesh" is weak, even though my spirit longs for self-discipline. I have long struggled with careless spending of money, not large amounts at one time, just little stuff here and there that is not really necessary and drains the cash. I also had made it two months without diet coke and now have begun to drink it pretty regularly again. ARGH! That motivation I had initially to quit is gone and I wish it would come back.

I think it all boils down to self-satisfaction. I am a slave to it evidently. I let my wants and desires govern my actions. I can empathize with the frustration the apostle Paul expressed when he wrote, "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:18-19) "When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (verses 23-25)

I'm at square one again. When I wasn't drinking soda, I was amazed to find dollars in my wallet for longer than ever before. It felt so good! Why is it the memory of that success and how good it feels isn't enough to keep me on track? I think it's a lesson in self-denial. I know I need to learn it. It's doubly difficult in our culture, where "self" is worshipped as the almighty diety in each of our lives and whatever satisfies "self" is the answer.

I guess this is why Jesus said that few choose the narrow path, but many choose the wide and easy road, which leads ultimately to destruction. It's as if there are lots of exit ramps from the narrow path, on which Satan tries to lure us onto the broad and seemingly blissful way he offers. There might be signs that read things like, "Exit 23: Harmless Addictions that Satisfy" or "Exit 62: Delicious Splurges for Fun". Thank Jesus there are also exit ramps from the broad way back to the narrow path with Jesus. We are so fortunate He is the Savior of another chance. (and another, and another...)

Diet coke isn't evil or necessarily harmful to me, but the behavior is one that needs to be excised from my heart. It would be one less area of "infection" in my spirit. No wonder I felt so free and peaceful when I was making headway a few months back. "Throw off everything that hinders and the sin which so easily entangles..." Hebrews 12:1

The words of Paul resonate in my heart whenever I read them, including these... "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (II Corinthians 12:7-10)